I am everything I am today because you loved me Jeroen.
Thanks for being there as a friend and as a boyfriend. I will always remember you, I am happy that I could spend my life with you. I am very thankful for everything. Even though I can’t forgive you for what you have done, you will always mean something to me. We both went our own way, tried to be friends again but it didn’t work out. But well, at least we tried. Some things can’t be forgotten or forgiven that’s why it was so hard to be friends again. I hope you the best, I wish you the best and I hope you are happy as I am now.
I can’t tell exactly how I feel at that moment, I didn’t want to see him. It’s not like I’m still hurt. Because I’m over it, but when I see him. I see all the memories flashing by, I see the beautiful moments that I’ve spend with him and then I start to see all the bad memories. I think it just touch me a little bit, just thinking about the past and now. It’s been a huge different now. I don’t worry about the break up with Jeroen anymore. Because I’ve met someone new and I am happy with that person.
I’m not saying that I hate him because I really don’t, but I just don’t want anything to do with that person. Because I really gave him all the love I had, I trusted that person in everything. He was the only person that I was 100% sure about that he won’t and never will hurt me but he did.
Trust is a big word for me, thanks to my therapist I’ve learn to trust people again in life. All what I did in the past was pushing people away, didn’t give people chances to let them know me. And that’s all because that one person who broke me.
But honestly? If you keep pushing people away and you don’t want to trust anybody anymore. Then you’ve got to ask yourself, do you even want a relationship? Because when you start a relationship with so much fear about your past how can you possibily be happy then? You can’t and you never will.
I know in the future there will still be people that step in your life and tell you you mean everything to them. But one day, just one day and everything can change. They meet someone new and they are more interested in them than in you. That’s the moment that your friendship between that person starts to fade away. People will stab you in the back and they will tell you lies. But everyone will get through this, you meet someone new and then a new chapter start in your life.
Move on. He’s just a chapter in the past. Don’t close the book, just turn the page.
